In the workplace, you have to deal with various people with behaviours much different from yours. Some of them will be ready to work with you, others may not like you immediately but are prepared to work with you, and a few will resent you no matter who you are and what you do for the company.
For these select few, they will gaslight you to invalidate your beliefs and make you question if this is the work you want to do. Gaslighters can be anyone in the workplace, as even bosses can gaslight you. Unfortunately, gaslighting is often unconscious and can be tricky to spot. There are also instances where it can either be done by a person as a form of self-defence or as a means to pressure you further.
So, how do you spot gaslighting? Here are 8 notable signs you can try to spot:
1) The gaslighter would say they never got your submission, even if you turned it in on time
If you send your work on time, you will find yourself the one saying apologies because of a mishap that prevented the gaslighter from getting your job done.
2) The gaslighter purposely baits you into your breaking point before saying nice things about you
They will do their best to admonish you, so you reach your breaking point before they start complimenting you, making you question if they were baiting you into getting angry on purpose.
3) The gaslighter reduces the importance of topics like race
They would often say things like, “you shouldn’t be racist” or “don’t use your race as a defence.”
4) The gaslighter claims they are doing something but are not
This person would claim they are doing something you asked them to do but aren’t even making an effort to do it.
5) The gaslighter always says negative things about you
Gaslighters also do their best to belittle you publicly, even if you did not do anything wrong against them. If you start to question yourself, you know the gaslighting is working.
6) The gaslighter causes you to question your beliefs about reality at work
This specific sign is that you are being gaslighted. They would say things that will make you question if your actions are right and trigger your self-doubt.
7) You often hear untrue gossip about you because of these gaslighters
Gaslighters also tend to talk behind your back and gossip against you. They will also use gossip to turn your colleagues against you, so they stay in control.
8) You are excluded from any events or meetings needed for your job
Gaslighters will make you feel insignificant by doing their best to exclude you from any meeting and event that is important for your work. For these people, they believe that you are not needed in these events.
Not everyone at work will appreciate what you do; some will actively show their displeasure through gaslighting. It will be tough to deal with these people, especially if they are your bosses. But, if you can immediately see the signs that the people around you are gaslighting, you can easily take steps to stop them and take control over your work life.
Are you a victim of workplace bully? Help is on the way, please read these: Bullying at Work Singapore is the 2nd-Worst Globally For Workplace Diversity; 1 In 4 Workers Bullied How to Deal with Sexual Harassment at your Workplace
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