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Writer's pictureSAMUEL CHIBUNNA
Mar 5, 20203 min read

How to Politely Turn Down After-Work Socialising Without Hurting Your Career or Offending Your Cowor

For some of us, we want to work in peace and not have to worry about socialising with others. We also want to go home after work and keep our work life separate from our personal life. But, socialising after work is now becoming popular as a way for coworkers to reach out to one another.

Ignoring invitations to socialise can be hard to do, especially if the offer comes from your team especially your boss. It can even threaten your career if you ignore it too much. You’ll be labeled not a team player.

If you want to turn down these invitations without offending anyone or affecting your career, here are some tips you can do:

Say the reason why you can’t attend

When you get invited to socialise after work, explain to them why you can’t attend.

Be honest and let them know that you have other responsibilities that you need to do. If your colleagues won’t accept your excuse, you don’t have to explain further. If you told them your reasoning, that is enough.

Be straightforward

Do not dawdle when it comes to providing your response. Immediately say that you cannot attend. This will allow your colleagues to adjust their plans and not press your attendance further.

If you say “maybe”, you are giving them the impression that you will come.

Be gracious when declining

While you are declining their invitation, be polite.

Keep your apology simple and wish them well. They may find your response scripted or not believe you at all.

Remember, you don’t have to please everybody at work.

Try to be flexible

Workplaces also has its own version of politics, which you will need to consider when declining after-work socialisation.

Try attending some of the invitations for such events to get to know your teammates and leaders.

It will help improve work relations and even if you don’t like to go to these events, they will appreciate that you made the time for it.

Pick the events you will attend

Companies have a lot of events in their calendar that you should not miss. There are also events that you can miss out on. Look at your company calendar and see which events you must attend and those you can decline.

Team-building sessions, holiday celebrations and retreats are important events you need to make time for since it is a part of the company’s way to celebrate with everyone.

You do not have to stay all night in these events. The fact you attended counts as a plus point on your end.

Find other ways to reach out to your colleagues

When you decline offers to join your team in after-work socializing, make it a point to find ways to bond with them during work hours.

One way you can do this is by listening to them and being there fully at work. If you are multitasking while they are talking to you, they will definitely feel insulted.

End of the Day…

If you are not the type of person who likes to socialize or you don’t have time to do it after work, don’t be afraid to say no when you get invited. But, you will need to pick the right invitations to refuse and know how to say your refusal without causing problems to your career.

Remember, team bonding is very important in creating a friendly and conducive working environment. One of the key elements in one’s loving their jobs and workplace is having supportive coworkers and management.

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