It’s not! It’s last week. I usually shunned announcing my birthdays because I don’t think my birthdays are such a big deal, and I also tend to self-reflect on my birthdays a lot. Have I saved the world today? Am I a good person? Did I max my time on earth? Have I done myself proud this year?
While I strongly encourage self-reflecting every once in a while, these questions can have a negative toll on me, and I think I placed myself too many expectations.
This year I stopped asking myself these questions. I still self-reflect, of course. But I did it using a different approach. I start asking myself these: What else have I not done? What else can I do in another year’s time? When will my next adventure be? How can I create to make this moment epic & awesome?
So instead of self-blaming and looking back on the past to correct my mistakes, I look forward to believing that as long as I am alive, I can change the way I live. So yes, if you are miserable today, you don’t have to be tomorrow; the power to control is in your hands.
Sure, you have restrictions that don’t allow you to make the change immediately, but that does not mean you can’t start with a small step today. One small step today, a hundred steps in a month, may put enough distance between you and the toxic lifestyle that allows you to give it up for good and work towards healing yourself.
I’ll take my birthday last week to provide an example. My older daughter is down with pneumonia, with the possibility that she may need to be hospitalised on my birthday. Yes, it is painful to see the little body wracked with high fever and coughing fits. Yes, the nights were long, where I took turns with her father to soothe her from her bad dreams. Yes, it stretched our patience as we spent the entire two days waiting for a diagnosis at A&E.
I did not blame myself. What could I do to prevent her from falling sick? Put her in an air bubble? Isolate her? Prevent her from going to school? Shift the blame on the teachers for allowing her to mingle with the sick kids?
Instead, I choose to focus on looking forward to her recovery. I told the little one we would plan a special day for the family when she gets better. My husband surprised us with a nice lunch at a neighbourhood restaurant and a candle on top of a slice of cake on the actual day. To me, this is better than having to dress up and travel to town (juggling a young toddler and a newborn in a fancy restaurant or constantly worrying if the grandparents are managing them) to have some steak at astronomical prices.
Focus on the little things and make little steps to change your life. It’s time for me to smell the roses I planted many years ago and appreciate every gesture. I wish for nothing but the stars, and if I do get the moon, it will be a delightful surprise. And if not, I’m blissfully dancing with the stars in my life.
Here are some of my thoughts about Change in life: Change A Word of Advice: Don’t be Scare of Change Are you cowering from change?
Can’t get enough of MiddleMe? You can find me sharing my thoughts here as well: Instagram @kallymiddleme Twitter (MiddleMe_net) FaceBook (MiddleMe.net) LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/kallytay
Commentaires